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How deciding to go with the flow can change your life.
Life is always in motion. It can either move you forward in an effortless life stream or it can be an on-going struggle. Bruce Lee once said: "Be water, my friend." Water flows, water is strong, water adapts to every environment. The principle of becoming water is not a new concept. Bruce Lee was referring to what is called in Taoism Wu Wei 無為. These words can be translated as non-action, or let things take their own course.
Why letting go of deep rooted habits
I have always had the deep rooted habit of making too much effort in relationships, with jobs, with friendships. When I quietly observe others I can't help but notice I am not the only one. For some reason we humans always feel that the right path in life is to make an effort while it should be easier if we'd just allow things come to us with ease. That penny had finally dropped when I became single again after being involved in relationships for quite some time. The first and only right decision I felt I could take at that moment was to heal myself from the last relationship that had been deeply loving but intensely soul-wrecking at the same time. Months of self reflection followed, but I wasn't aware of the fact that some integrate habits cannot be changed until being confronted with them again. One day I woke up feeling the willingness of my heart to open itself up for love once more. As soon as I started dating it hit me that despite all the self reflection I haven't learned anything about letting life take its own course. I choose mind over intuition way too often, making an effort of almost anything. Every time someone new appeared into my life my mind started to wonder if he was a possible "the one" while my heart would silently protested "no he is not let it go!" Ignoring my heart I did not let them pass by, like I should have done.
How to get into a state of effortless action
Then my eyes opened when I got introduced to the Taoist term effortless or non-action, also known as going with the flow. It learns that in life there are two ways to go, against the current or floating down the stream. Negative feelings such as fear, worry, doubt and anger are indicators of going against the current heading the wrong way down life's natural stream. Trying to take control over things or making too much effort are also flow-breakers. I learned that these types of feelings shouldn't be suppressed though. By acknowledging them I could make them part of my life's natural stream as a signal of the things I wasn't happy about. If something doesn't give you the utterly happy feeling it's perfectly fine to take a peddle to gently change the direction a bit.
Set rules that can be effortlessly followed
This awareness was a life changer to me. I realized that I had been swimming against the stream for a long time by letting people into my life who weren't worth the effort. Using my intuition as an indicator to go with life's flow was a whole new concept to me. If people don't touch your heart the way you'd like to be touched let them move onto their next destination. If someone is the one, the heart knows.
From that point on I decided to be guided by a new set of rules
- If something feels like a struggle it probably is. Let it go.
- If the mind needs to think twice about something. Let it go.
- If a protest comes from somewhere within. Listen to it.
Not long after that decision someone new walked into my life. It didn't feel like a struggle. The mind didn't think twice. The moment I saw him, I knew.